One Eight Seven

college has changed so many things
including me

It's exciting and scary at the same time

Thank god for cigarettes and coffee

I've been really scared of dying lately; it keeps me up at night. I never sleep.

I left my purse out in the rain today and I didn't care about anything in it, my phone, my ipod, anything except my cigarettes. I piss myself off.

I visited my friend at her college. Her expensive, highly selective, prestigious college and it made me think. Do I really want to be a web designer? No. I don't. In 20 years am I going to be proud of my career? No. I want to write more than anything, call it a revelation. Talking to intelligent people for a full weekend made me realize I have potential and this town sucks it out of me.

I don't want to say people here aren't intelligent but they don't want to be. They don't try, they're happy watching TV and doing dip.

I still want to write something that will make people think. I'm changing my major. Maybe to english.