shallow love; shallow lies.

I'm really dreading turning 19 in 6 months. I don't feel like I should be 19.


I've had it up to here with my dad. xanax & alcohol nonstop. I don't think I can take another year in this house. I'm going to transfer to rowan; haha that's the current plan but I don't know. I feel kind of pathetic because one of the main reasons I want to go there is because my friend is going there.

I need cigarettes. Fuck being broke and fuck new jersey for moving the age up, assholes.

Photoshop is my life now.

He called me to ask if he was going to see me on his birthday. I said probably not but he could stop by my house; I have a mix for him. I miss him more than I should. He was the biggest vainest most drunken asshole I have ever encountered.

my new bliss:
my bed, I FINALLY got a mattress today after 2 months of sleeping on an air mattress. Thank fucking god.


I'm gonna stay eighteen forever (cut me open)
So we can stay like this forever (sun poisoned)
And we'll never miss a party (this offer stands forever)
cause we keep them going constantly
And we'll never have to listen (new haircut)
to anyone about anything (new bracelet)
cause it's all been done and it's all been said (eyeliner)
We're the coolest kids and we take what we can get (wait forever)