XO

I feel sick to my stomach
or maybe I just feel sick

I'm sick of myself
I'm sick of never being able to do anything right
I'm sick of messing up

and sleeping too much
and hating people
and being so distant
and pushing people away

I just want to be real
I want my life to be real
I want to do something no one else can do for me
I want to do it for myself

-

I'm sick of missing him when he was never even here.