so hard to believe what you're looking for

It's 4 am and I've been trying to sleep for 2 hours to no avail. Now I'm listening to Midtown and thinking about watching TV.

Things are going well. Well as in I decided to go back to college and I got a job. My grades are pretty good right now. I'm just waiting for the next train wreck. Whenever things are going well for me I always some how fuck them up entirely. Don't ask me why I do that. I don't know.

I'm so tired of waiting for tomorrow. "Tomorrow I won't sleep all day and I'll get shit done." "I'll call you back tomorrow". "I'll do it tomorrow". "I'll quit smoking tomorrow". "I'll go to bed early tomorrow"."I'll type my paper tomorrow".

Tomorrow never happens. I don't know how to stop this. Yeah I could just do it but it's not that easy. I feel like this disease is holding me back but in the end I know I'm just holding myself back.

People have told me that I have so much potential I just need to use it my whole entire life. I never have. I don't know if I ever will. I know the time limit on my potential is running out. One day I'll wake up and it'll be too late. One day I'll wake up and there will be no future. No time to get my life together.

Life is what you make it. But I don't know how to make it.