turn on the bright light

I just had a big crying session with my dad
I told him everything
That I never moved past his drinking
That I've been hurting myself again
That I stopped for a long time
That part of me is still stuck at that little helpless 13 year old kid
with the weight of the world on her shoulders

I kind of want to cry right now
it's so random
I finally feel all the hurt
and it's overwhelming
I should feel better
but i just want to shrivel up and die a little bit

I probably sound so pathetic right now
you can think what you want about me
I'm not doing this for anyone but me
I just need someone to know
Everyone thought I'd moved past this
I haven't and it eats at me
a little bit every day I fall more and more

I'm just lost
I dropped my flashlight
and the dark is consuming me

I guess I should explain
My dad and I had a fight last night
And he hit me
So I left
I spent the night at a friends
Before I left I did somethings I regret

My head is so busy right now

If you don't expect too much from me you might not be let down