I'm not your star

She exhale the toxins the same ashen color as her complexion. She was dying in sympathy and living in self-hatred.

Her scars help her remember and let her forget. The healing marks look up at her like tin soldiers set in a row. Red and angry, for she had betrayed her own flesh with poison. That she was enemy that they must conquer.

She felt the guilt. She felt the rage of everything that had lived inside of her and of every piece of herself that she had let die.

At night she laid in bed knowing no sleep would come. She stared out her window watching the stars burn in the sky imagining what they must look like in space. She listens to the trains passing through on their rickety tracks. She watches the planes fly through the night from across the river. She wonders who's sailing through the dark looking at the same sky.

Are they flying home to their family, furthering their career or maybe running away. She's wishing she could run away with them.

She's wondering how everything could be so beautiful but so ugly.



I don't know why I wrote that
but I did