People don't change

Someone tried telling me once that can change if they want to
I know from experience it's not true
A girl in my physc class used the example that her boyfriend quit drugs because he wanted to
He had been sober for 2 months by that time
I wanted to ask her to get back to me in 6 months, a year, 2 years
I've lived my whole life watching my father
The longest he ever stopped drinking was four years
He's back to his old habits
People don't change
I always used to think..and I still do a little bit
That he doesn't stop because he doesn't love me
or that I'm not good enough
Thoughts that I'm not good enough have been engraved into me
That I'm a failure
No matter how many times I tell myself it's not true
I don't believe it

It's why I've given up so many times
I feel that I'm hopeless
I've been on my own since I was 11
My parents didn't give jack shit about me
My Dad had his own problems
and my Mom was complete focused on them
I was just a foot note
It's given me an abandonment mentality and I can't stand it

People don't change
and I know it's cynical
but being cynical is the best way not to get hurt