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My room is bright pink

Coffee

Cigarettes

Coffee

Cigaretes

Is how I live my life. Just another jaded 18 year old with no foreseeable future, do I mind? Yes. Do I think about it? No. I’m the product of alcoholism and first time parentingSneaking in the back porch to take my before-bed-smoke, I hesitate. I thought I heard the back door. I take a long last pull before putting it out on the railing. I shove the half smoked marlboro light 100 into my pocket and my red lighter into my bra. I watch the cherry smash and the red ember fly into the wind.I don’t smell of smoke; god bless the wind. I hide the half smoked cig in my pocket since New Jersey upped the buying the age to 19. Bull shit. It was disgusting but I had to get by.

I paid a friend of my brother to buy them for me from a store that sold to underage kids.He bought me menthol, they smelled like cough drops and are cold on the back of my throat. I hate that. It’s better than nothing; it’s how I get by